Maybe I'm just drawing false connections, but sometimes it seems as if there are these clusters of meaning or themes that coalesce into something that begs to be divined. The tea leaves are spelling something out, and while I don't know why exactly, it seems foolish to pass them by without pondering them for a bit.
This time, I think the key term here is "mission statement," or some approximation of it. For one thing, tomorrow we're going to start working on defining our office's mission at work during a group retreat (part two, actually). For another thing, I sat down for crepes and chai with my friend MS for a couple of hours yesterday, and among other topics we talked about how she is sure to make a list of things that are true about herself, so that whenever she's not so sure or she's in danger of losing herself, she can look back at that list and gain a little more confidence and a firmer grasp on who she wants to be. We both talked about what our lists look like. I've never been one for seeking out inspiration in anything but a modest way, but I did find it interesting that, while I'd focused more on what I want out of a job, her statements had a lot more to do with herself without the job, without other people, and with little to do with time or place. It was as if she stripped everything away and then added the essentials back in. My job has definitely helped me define a lot of what I want, but I guess it's not the whole picture. It's about what's important to me.
So let's see here (I had some help from SM)...
- I think I'd rather be doing good than promoting good. And I don't mean that in a halo-earning sense, but rather in an actually-benefiting-someone sense. Even that is pretty broad, though, and I interpret that benefit pretty loosely, albeit as directly as possible.
- Authenticity is important to me, and thus try to put myself in as few inauthentic moments as possible. This leads to really enjoying time with people I actually like, and trying to minimize time with most other people. I don't want to spend time lying to myself or others; it's draining and pointless.
- My friends are very important to me. It's a given that I will always do what I can to be there for them, whether it's showing up at their events or listening to them.
- I will pretty much do anything for my family. I will always do what I can to support them.
- Learning means a lot to me. I like being informed, but I also like the act of learning. I also like learning about others learning and helping others learn in the best ways for them.
- I'm no fun sometimes because I take life too seriously, but that's okay. I think someone has to take life seriously because otherwise we wouldn't accomplish anything.
- I like understanding how things work and using that knowledge to get things done and make things work better. Practical application is fascinating (and necessary).
- Being resourceful and exploring the best way to do something means a lot to me. Taking the initiative to look for the best method is commendable and also efficient in the end.
I think that's a start. I'm not very happy with the list, actually, because it seems so narcissistic, but I think the concept is sound and certainly helpful if you ever feel so buried or disconnected from yourself. Do you think I'm missing anything from my list? What would you have on your list?
I think it makes sense that your list revolves around your job, because you have been misunderstood there on so many different levels. Every time you overcome one source of conflict, another challenge presents itself. If I were doijng this exercise a year or two ago, I'd probably be focused more in that direction. Over the past year, my relationship with BF has focused my introspection towards who I am when I'm at home.
ReplyDeleteI think your list hits on a lot key themes. Seeing you with your mom definitely brought some of those into stark relief. There are so many things that you could put on a list like this, it's hard hard to know what level of detail to go into, but I would certainly add something about your love of film and live music, your aversion to hype and hipsters, your incredibly strong work ethic, and your tendency to understate your own awesomeness. Also, I don't think you could be narcissistic if you tried.
Here's a stab at my list:
I am an artist. I see things that others miss. I communicate most fully through abstract and symbolic methods.
I like making people happy. It is the driving motivation behind a good percentage of what I do. Hearing people laugh is like a drug for me. Sometimes I try to cheer people up / make them laugh when I shouldn't.
I have a knack for understanding. I just "get" complex concepts and can read people's emotions accutely and accurately. I'm not always so great with particulars or responding to strong emotions. I can usually tell when two people aren't understanding each other and try to mediate wherever possible.
I get overwhelmed in groups and prefer smaller, intimate social interactions. I am comfortable on my own and do most of my thinking/processing when alone.
I love sleeping, creating, bright colors, games, music, home cooked meals, nature, extravegence, television, animation, and of course, LEGO.
I am comfortable with complexity and ambiguity and am more interested in understanding the true nature of things than having an easy answer.
I'm resourceful and self-reliant to a fault. I prefer to do things myself, even when it's harder, more time consuming, or just plain stupid.
I could go on an on, but I'm just going to cut myself off because it's late and I should go to sleep.